Friday, April 13, 2012

Oh gross!! What did I just step in? (by anon)

So, I thought that sidewalks were meant for humans to walk on, wouldn’t you think so? I have become obsessed with watching where I walk to and from anywhere on campus, that is unless I am drunk. Well everyday walking to class I hope that you will now look out for what is on the sidewalk because you would be so grossed out!

Well first off, there is the spit that guys love to hack up onto the sidewalk rather than on the grass! Great, just what I want to step in is your boogers because you are too lazy to spit it in the grass! Then if you don’t step in that there is a good chance you are going to step in mud because apparently here on campus the sidewalks are meant for their vehicles to drive on. If it’s not a motor vehicle then you may have bikes that are on the sidewalks which I thought that you can’t do that because it’s illegal. Well the reason I say this is because last year on my walk in between Roseman Hall and the University Center to class I ended up getting hit by a girl on a bike in the back of my calf. This made it so hard to walk anywhere for a week and my calf was super bruised and swollen. Lastly, if you have somehow managed to avoid these obstacles in your path there’s a pretty good chance you could step in dog poop. Well the people who are handicapped on campus don’t have to pick up their dog poop or maybe they are required to but just would rather not? Well if their dogs don’t crap on the sidewalk, they are rudely pulling their dog while they are trying to go to the bathroom or someone steps in it and then smears it all over the sidewalks.

So in the end I believe we need to take back the sidewalks from motor vehicles, bicyclists, people spitting on the sidewalks and of course we should hire someone to pick up after the people that have dogs due to a handicap. Wouldn’t it be great to not stare at the sidewalk and worry about stepping on something nasty or getting run over on the way to class!? Also, wouldn’t it be great to offer someone a poop job anyways in this economy?


  1. I understand that you might be sensitive to the things you see on the side walk. I do walk on the grass howevedr and I feel that it is not to your advantage to say that the path I make for myself in the grass should be any less priveledged than the pavement that has been superimposed on the natural ground which was there previously. Hasn't the off road ground suffered enough? Why should we care about pavement at all. It seems like the pavement is ruling our very society to me. We can't get away from gasoline and Federal stipends to maintain the highways. These two facts alone lead to tons of other problems which I won't delve into at the moment.
    I say we ought to take back the earth. Not the global earth but the soily padded stuff beneath the pavement. You might object based on the hanicapped transport issues, but with the money we'd save collectively on maintaining paved areas we could probably afford to equip (everyone who desires) a more off road version of a wheelchair.
    Perhaps I'm being too radical, but I look at the campus and see a web of cricc-crossing pavement that is unnecessary. If you ride in a plane over the big picture of the countryside the view is similar. Everybody wants their own place far away from everything else and they want a road that leads there.
    On the dog shit issue, the land also used to have much more abundant wildlife. Human colonization has killed off so much of it that people actually have become so used to it's absence that you need special permission to have a non-human mammal with you. Guess what? If the animal population was what it once was you'd be stepping in feces on a much more regular basis.
    In closing, again I understand how you have come to possess certain sensitivities about what your journey through our world is like, but as you journey you might think about what you are laying down before you start making demands that other people start picking something else up.

  2. Unless he is a giant, you once even notice the hack and the booger juice. I always blow my nose holding two fingers over one nostril to get all the snot and boogers out. If no one is looking I will blow them out in a classroom. I once blew my nose and boogers and snot juice spewed out over the chair next to me. My friend came in later and sat right on top of the snot with his hands resting comfortably on the boogers. He did not feel a thing. So a little booger juice and snot will not kill you. Ditto, with dog shit, just wipe your shoes off on the grass. They will smell a little but just keep on walking.

    Prof Whitewater.