Let's face it- a baby is the worst STD you can get. Stop contracting them! Here's why:
1. We don't need more people- adopt. Having your own is selfish.
Sure, they're cute when they have your eyes and you get to relive your childhood vicariously through them, but we're intelligent beings able to think about the state of the world (OMFGWTF 7 BILLION PEOPLE!). So why give in to our selfish evolutionary instinct to pass on our genes? Is it because a part of everyone believes themselves to be the best genetic creation ever therefor our offspring will allow our successful genes to survive? NO! Otherwise people with metabolic disorders wouldn't reproduce- they know if they have bad genes! (like we need more fat people giving other fat people reasons to be considered a normal human being in our society even though the only reason A LOT of people are fat is because they can't put down the fork). There is no unselfish reason in choosing to bear your own children over adopting, ignoring any possible cost differences between adoption and all doctor visits (which can still be considered selfish).
2. Most people are stupid: don't risk making more stupid people.
Everyone think's they're intelligent. We know this not to be true. A jerk probably knows he's a jerk but an idiot doesn't know he's an idiot (no matter how many times you tell people to their faces). Don't assume you're smart unless people tell you regularly. Even someone with a PHD can be borderline retarded- there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between those who ARE smart and those who get good grades because of hard work. If you work hard, you can become knowledgeable, but you'll still have to work hard to become knowledgeable on other topics. Some people sit in class and LISTEN TO (not hear) the professor speak once and they understand- maybe want to get deeper into the issue- and do fine on a test. Others hear the professor, take notes, go to study groups, do the homework, reread the reading, and still need someone to dish out a core concept on a silver platter to do well on an exam. Some people work smart. Others work hard. If smart people work hard- great things are accomplished. Point is: don't assume you can relate to Einstein- you don't. Period.
3. You're probably dumb for having kids so young.
As a college student, you are at your reproductive peak in your craving for sex as well as your biological ability to successfully reproduce. You're a walking node of fertility waiting to pop something out at some point. Don't be a dummy, come on her tummy. Or just use a jock lock, knob knot, cock dock, pole lock, wet suit, cock coat, wand wallet, whatever. To all the bro's: use a condom. To all the ladies: pop the pill. Or we can hope that more gay people are born! Pray for more gay! PLEASE! As for STD's- Just get checked, use a rubber, and don't be generous with your genital deformities. Thanks.
OUCH! Not to mention the doctor bills combined with the monthly visits leading up to the event. This costs money and, as a college-aged student, you are, by definition, not financially stable enough as you should/could be in the future when you are possibly mature enough to raise a child.
5. Sleep, free time, money, worry, laundry, work, pain, rebellion, dissonance, changed relationships.
Kids cry at night as babies. Then toddlers have "nightmares." Young kids have night terrors and wake up early too. You also drive them to school. Teenagers rebel and make you stay up late. You lose a lot of time and sleep. You buy them EVERYTHING. Imagine paying for all the things you had as a child ON TOP of yourselves mortgage, utilities, and every expense down to the last detail. Stress- you worry about your child. You love them and you get stressed out- NOT TO MENTION how they'll fight you the entire way until they're old enough to move out. You're relationship with your partner changes too. After little Ricky ruins your game to get laid for a couple weeks straight, you get a little tense. Then there's the coordination with your partner about managing EVERY aspect of the kids' lives. You will fight and argue.
6. Failed expectations and lost freedom
Are you expecting to raise the next Payton Manning? A beauty queen? A nun? President? You are. Every parent has high hopes. No parent aspires to raise a 40 year old World of Warcraft Wizard living in their basement or a drug dealer. Your kids will disappoint. Not to mention the struggle of raising a handicapped child. Or the parents who got a problem with a homosexual kid. Or the kid who runs away or dates a degenerate. You're gonna have problems with who your kid is in some way while you're raising them. Fact.
Yeah, those suck. You will get puked on, pooped on, and peed on while they're a baby. When they're a toddler you can expect to have oatmeal on your pants almost daily. Then when they're kids, you won't know what kind of guck or animal they snuck into the house. As a teenager, you won't know what that is on their bed sheets.
8. Advice - everyone will leap forward to give you some. (Including but not limited to: "DON'T DO IT!")
It's gotta get real old real fast. Everyone has a quick tip here and there. Some help, some are just stupid hippy suggestions. (You see that one lady on youtube who throws and spins and flips her baby around n shit?)
9. You're stupid for having kids young.
Oh wait... Yeah, just reminding ya.
10. Tantrums- we're all secretly wishing you'll hit them.
I recently learned I'm not alone in feeling this way. You're kid is kicking the back of my chair/screaming in the store/bothering or hurting another child/don't understand common courtesy . Your kids are nuisances to everyone around. When they misbehave- you tell them. But there comes a point within that 18 year period where no matter how many times you repeat yourself you just feel that the kid won't listen or learn. You will then sit back, void out every sensory source around and spend some time alone with your thoughts and regret that fateful night you conceived the little parasitic bastard from the fiery pit of annoyances. That is when it's a problem to the rest of us. Avoid the situation entirely.