Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Different parental treatment = different morals? (by anon)


I don’t know if parents truly realize this, but I have noticed the different way they treat siblings and in my case older sister versus younger brother. Growing up I went to Racine Christian School from Kindergarten to Eighth grade, well my parents pulled my brother out right after his fifth grade to attend Bullen Middle School in Kenosha, a public school. This is just one way that my parents have shown I am there test dummy. My point is that the way they have treated me differently than my brother has made us both very different whether for the good or bad.

Through sports I had a common interest with my father while my brother is smart and into gaming he related more to my mother. All throughout my life my brother and I have been complete opposites due to the way my parents brought us up differently and in both our eyes we have seen it unfair. Besides our middle schools being completely different I played sports in middle school and high school while my brother did not. I always had to do chores when I was younger in order to keep my toys and to earn an allowance, my mother still cleans my brother’s room to this day and my father cleans up my brother’s dishes in his room.  

Then I went all the way through with confirmation at my church, but my brother was pulled out early once again. I went to a regular public school while my brother has attended a technical public high school. Before I started driving I had to practice driving our lawn mower, my brother has had to cut grass once.  I had to have a job as soon as I turned 16 to pay for my gas for the car my parents bought me, while my little brother just turned 18 and is just now having to work for the first time. At my skinniest in high school my mom was always getting on my case about what I ate, but my brother was not treated the same.

So in the end, my parents have not really paid too much attention to how differently we have been treated, but still to this day my boyfriend Anthony and I can see how I am treated very differently than my younger brother is by my parents. I have learned from this and I hope to not do this to my children because I feel I have better morals, values, and greater responsibilities than my younger brother has ever had when I was his age.

9 comments:

  1. So you have a boyfriend named Anthony. Are you gay? If you are, and your brother is straight, then this may be the reason you were treated differently. On the other hand, if you are not, then it may be just the birth order, as children due to the birth order are treated differently, so instead of getting depressed over it, be thankful you had parents who paid some attention to you. So my advice to you is to suck it up and move on.

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    1. You do realize that OP (original poster) Anon could be female right? Just because OP Anon relates to their dad better than their mom does not mean the poster a male. OP Anon says "in my case older sister versus younger brother" where it sounds like they are the older sister. (That is assuming OP Anon is not a middle child...)


      Moving on.

      If it was hypothetically true that the OP Anon IS male and gay, you need to go into more depth to explain ~why/how~ you think that would be the main cause as to cause such a dynamic child rearing difference (say versus the birth order suggestion you put forward).

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    2. Next time you have a question I suggest rereading. I know because I went ahead and reread myself.

      "in my case older sister versus younger brother."

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    3. So it is a girl speaker.

      "in my case older sister versus younger brother."

      Plus

      "my parents pulled my brother out right after his fifth grade"


      I think it is interesting that some jumped to the conclusion that it was a male speaker though. Not bad, but it does make one rethink how to take stuff over the internet versus how they take input when in person.

      Delete
  2. Anything is possible but if the poster was a girl then the argument does not make any damn sense because boys and girls are usually treated differently. Bonding with daddy playing sports is another indicator that the poster is male. The bottom line is this, everyone, even identical twins are treated differently.

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    1. (Funny you should pick and place more weight on the OP having sports time with dad versus the OP having a boyfriend when you were trying to determin gender. Nothing terribly bad about it, but just really interesting as to how you yourself tend to define gender.)


      Maybe 30-40 years ago that arguement would have held more weight regarding dads, daughters, and sports with the stereotypical "traditional family". That is a weak standard to apply to today's families between the divorce rate/two parent working homes, sports being more female friendly, as well as "bread-winner" fathers being less the cookie cutter standard they are held to.

      Delete
    2. Next time you have a question I suggest rereading. I know because I went ahead and reread myself.

      "in my case older sister versus younger brother."

      Delete
    3. So it is a girl speaker.

      "in my case older sister versus younger brother."

      Plus

      "my parents pulled my brother out right after his fifth grade"

      Delete
  3. Classic freshman.

    My question is what about all that you've said is "unfair." By comparing your situation to your brother's, you can only say that you've been treated "differently," not "unfairly." How do you know your brother has not been treated unfairly?

    To me, it sounds like what you've experienced is totally normal and perfectly fair.
    Public school - what percent of all students do you think went to public school? Is it less than private school or homeschooling? (no.)
    Playing sports - I'm sorry to hear about your lost opportunities.
    Chores and allowance - seriously? Doing chores is unfair? Just you wait until you get your own place...
    Confirmation - that was your choice, even if you don't feel like it was. Do you choose to still go to church?
    Public high vs. technical high - what are you studying? Would technical school have helped?
    Mowing the lawn - half an hour every two weeks, I'm guessing.
    Having a job - along with everyone else. At least you didn't have to buy the car. That's unfair!
    Comments about weight - If this has really hurt you, then it's definitely wrong, but are you sure that her concern was insincere?

    What I'm saying is that even though you were treated differently from your brother, you've not given us examples of unfairness. Seems like your parents did a pretty good job preparing you for the real world.

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