Why did you buy that garbage? (by Wheels)

So you’re at college. Congratulations! It is so great to have you here… or at least that is what I would like to say but the fact that you are buying garbage tells me that you did not get into UWW to complete a secret genius brain trust.

My question is why did you buy a bike to ride to and from class at an average speed of 5 miles an hour? You know what happens to the people who buy a bike and then ride at a walking pace? They spend less time doing exercise they could probably use. If you have a condition where you have trouble walking due to a medical condition then please excuse me. For those of you who simply enjoy biking I withdraw. To those of you who are too lazy to get in shape I say start running. The fact that it takes you 20 minutes to walk .5 relatively flat miles to class is not a reason to get a bike. If you are taking a long time to go short distances and have no medical issues you probably have what is called out of shape syndrome. Often a side effect of really lazy and a cause of premature death, out of shape syndrome can take many forms in just about anyone. You can be skinny, fat, tall, short, confident, or self-conscious and still have out of shape syndrome. You know the signs.

I am not saying you need to be sculpted as a Greek god. I do not hate you for not being able to run a 6 minute mile. I am saying you should be able to perform everyday to and from class, 4 mph, 15 minute walks without being out of breath.

Consider this before buying that cheep bike as a fix to your slow walking issue. If you are a fit and active person who is in shape but a slow walker or someone who hates walking it is ok to get that bike. If you are getting the bike and plan to ride very fast to save you time it is ok to get that bike. On the other hand, the bike should not be bought if you are a slow biker and think biking will save you time. The time you think you slow bikers save is probably lost when you have to go get the bike and lock the bike up while you are in class. Do not buy the bike right before college when you do not like biking and consider it a long-term investment. If you get a nice bike there is a good chance it could be stolen. If you get a mediocre bike it will probably not last that long. If you dislike biking then you may find you do not ride the bike or maintain the bike. Of course by not riding the bike you can hope it will stay in good shape in a bike locker. Of course that defeats the point. In other words bikers bring your bikes. Those who want to bike slower than I walk to class and never bike recreationally should leave the bike at home.

Wheels