Let's face it- a baby is the worst STD you can get. Stop contracting them! Here's why:
1. We don't need more people- adopt. Having your own is selfish.
Sure, they're cute when they have your eyes and you get to relive your childhood vicariously through them, but we're intelligent beings able to think about the state of the world (OMFGWTF 7 BILLION PEOPLE!). So why give in to our selfish evolutionary instinct to pass on our genes? Is it because a part of everyone believes themselves to be the best genetic creation ever therefor our offspring will allow our successful genes to survive? NO! Otherwise people with metabolic disorders wouldn't reproduce- they know if they have bad genes! (like we need more fat people giving other fat people reasons to be considered a normal human being in our society even though the only reason A LOT of people are fat is because they can't put down the fork). There is no unselfish reason in choosing to bear your own children over adopting, ignoring any possible cost differences between adoption and all doctor visits (which can still be considered selfish).
2. Most people are stupid: don't risk making more stupid people.
Everyone think's they're intelligent. We know this not to be true. A jerk probably knows he's a jerk but an idiot doesn't know he's an idiot (no matter how many times you tell people to their faces). Don't assume you're smart unless people tell you regularly. Even someone with a PHD can be borderline retarded- there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between those who ARE smart and those who get good grades because of hard work. If you work hard, you can become knowledgeable, but you'll still have to work hard to become knowledgeable on other topics. Some people sit in class and LISTEN TO (not hear) the professor speak once and they understand- maybe want to get deeper into the issue- and do fine on a test. Others hear the professor, take notes, go to study groups, do the homework, reread the reading, and still need someone to dish out a core concept on a silver platter to do well on an exam. Some people work smart. Others work hard. If smart people work hard- great things are accomplished. Point is: don't assume you can relate to Einstein- you don't. Period.
3. You're probably dumb for having kids so young.
As a college student, you are at your reproductive peak in your craving for sex as well as your biological ability to successfully reproduce. You're a walking node of fertility waiting to pop something out at some point. Don't be a dummy, come on her tummy. Or just use a jock lock, knob knot, cock dock, pole lock, wet suit, cock coat, wand wallet, whatever. To all the bro's: use a condom. To all the ladies: pop the pill. Or we can hope that more gay people are born! Pray for more gay! PLEASE! As for STD's- Just get checked, use a rubber, and don't be generous with your genital deformities. Thanks.
4. Birth
OUCH! Not to mention the doctor bills combined with the monthly visits leading up to the event. This costs money and, as a college-aged student, you are, by definition, not financially stable enough as you should/could be in the future when you are possibly mature enough to raise a child.
5. Sleep, free time, money, worry, laundry, work, pain, rebellion, dissonance, changed relationships.
Kids cry at night as babies. Then toddlers have "nightmares." Young kids have night terrors and wake up early too. You also drive them to school. Teenagers rebel and make you stay up late. You lose a lot of time and sleep. You buy them EVERYTHING. Imagine paying for all the things you had as a child ON TOP of yourselves mortgage, utilities, and every expense down to the last detail. Stress- you worry about your child. You love them and you get stressed out- NOT TO MENTION how they'll fight you the entire way until they're old enough to move out. You're relationship with your partner changes too. After little Ricky ruins your game to get laid for a couple weeks straight, you get a little tense. Then there's the coordination with your partner about managing EVERY aspect of the kids' lives. You will fight and argue.
6. Failed expectations and lost freedom
Are you expecting to raise the next Payton Manning? A beauty queen? A nun? President? You are. Every parent has high hopes. No parent aspires to raise a 40 year old World of Warcraft Wizard living in their basement or a drug dealer. Your kids will disappoint. Not to mention the struggle of raising a handicapped child. Or the parents who got a problem with a homosexual kid. Or the kid who runs away or dates a degenerate. You're gonna have problems with who your kid is in some way while you're raising them. Fact.
7. Diapers
Yeah, those suck. You will get puked on, pooped on, and peed on while they're a baby. When they're a toddler you can expect to have oatmeal on your pants almost daily. Then when they're kids, you won't know what kind of guck or animal they snuck into the house. As a teenager, you won't know what that is on their bed sheets.
8. Advice - everyone will leap forward to give you some. (Including but not limited to: "DON'T DO IT!")
It's gotta get real old real fast. Everyone has a quick tip here and there. Some help, some are just stupid hippy suggestions. (You see that one lady on youtube who throws and spins and flips her baby around n shit?)
9. You're stupid for having kids young.
Oh wait... Yeah, just reminding ya.
10. Tantrums- we're all secretly wishing you'll hit them.
I recently learned I'm not alone in feeling this way. You're kid is kicking the back of my chair/screaming in the store/bothering or hurting another child/don't understand common courtesy . Your kids are nuisances to everyone around. When they misbehave- you tell them. But there comes a point within that 18 year period where no matter how many times you repeat yourself you just feel that the kid won't listen or learn. You will then sit back, void out every sensory source around and spend some time alone with your thoughts and regret that fateful night you conceived the little parasitic bastard from the fiery pit of annoyances. That is when it's a problem to the rest of us. Avoid the situation entirely.
and i bet you've never had your own kid...you're so one-sided.
ReplyDeleteThe booty bandit agrees with this post. No baby mamas. Just hit it and run bro. At a St Pat Party last nite, the bandit nailed number 12 for the year, a good looking blonde who was drunk. She told me that her boyfriend was out of town and the bandit moved in for the kill. The Bandit always uses a rubber.Feel sorry for the boyfriend but he should feel good because his girl resisted the bandit for an hour.
ReplyDeleteIf you are of age and can afford it and you want a baby, then have one. If you don't, then don't have one. Its your choice. You are free.
ReplyDeleteProf Chaos
Booty bandit? Grow up whoever you are. Come up with something better than a pimply middle schooler, even if you're only joking. I wonder why this country is tanking so hard.
ReplyDeleteAgree, what an idiot! I'm sure he couldn't get the girl to stick around the next morning after realizing her drunken mistake if he tried! Seriously, how proud he must be to be such a good guy preying on drunk girls. Sad there are morons like this running amuck in our society...
DeleteSo this blog was pretty boring and ill-humored, and I'm having a hard time figuring out if this is supposed to be satirical or what.... It's not clever or engaging in any way, and it's definitely not very funny. In fact, while I was reading it I was just waiting to be done reading it because it really wasn't interesting at all. It is too bombastic and logically flawed to be comical. I'd call it a mix of highly underdeveloped dark and sophomoric humor. There's no reading between the lines in this one, not to mention the whole thing is rather cliche and hum drum. I give it two thumbs down.
ReplyDeleteSorry to burst your bubble, but normally being "logically flawed" IS comical. Being logical isn't normally funny, moron. And I think that's the problem you have. You seem to be under the impression that it's supposed to be something besides comical. It's a presentation on how reasonable it is to have kids at a certain time in a person's life. Y'see, the reason you're an idiot is because you don't have a point that you're addressing. You don't have a problem with the logic of it or even a particular point, you have a problem. Period.
DeleteWell what I said was it was TOO logically flawed to be comical. As in, you push it too far to the point of it not even being funny because it's actually too dumb to be. There's no cleverness or irony or anything. It's just really immature and not well thought out or put together. Throughout the post you go on tangents and then I wonder why you even wrote what you wrote because it's not even funny. We all know having kids while still in college is not reasonable for most people. Which is why your post isn't funny. You're trying to apply a certain kind of humor to a subject that just isn't cut out for it. It'd be a waste of time to pull out every part that demonstrates my point. Overall, I just don't think any of it is funny. I don't think anyone else does either. Except maybe you.
DeleteYou STILL don't have a particular point or example of "flawed logic." Once again, it's not supposed to be a gut buster so quit deferring the point to that, idiot. It's a presentation of logic. So let's see if you have the slightest ability to maintain an on-topic discussion addressing relevant points of a topic. Put simply: What's your beef with this post, bro?
DeleteOh wait so it wasn't meant to be logically flawed? Now I may be confused. And now you're saying it's not supposed to be funny?
DeleteEh. This blog just wasn't really that great.... The best part was pretty much the title. And that's just my opinion...
You're calling me an idiot but I was only being an honest critic. Sheesh.
With nothing much to criticize, apparently. It's not meant to make you laugh, just change your mind, or at least present the selfishness of contributing to a growing and already over-sized population while rethinking the sacrifices of raising a human being. It's become abundantly clear you have nothing to utter besides vomiting an opinion how you didn't laugh. Typical internet critic- go tell someone how "gay" their youtube video is since you have no substance to form a discussion.
DeleteJango, what is up your ass? Why would anyone consider what you're saying when you're so damn crude and condescending? Big deal. Someone didn't like the post. Let it go.
DeleteIt matters WHY you didn't. When I press the issue and corner you, I can show that you're not as clever as you like to think when you have nothing to say besides "you're a cynical son of a bitch."
DeleteJango, your only argument that doesn't deal with your own personal bias and detest for those inconveniences that go with having kids is the overpopulation problem. I agree that having kids is selfish. But not killing myself is selfish too. Everything I do is selfish. You need to give me more of an argument than "selfishness." If I only had one kid, am I committing a moral wrong in your eyes? Did your parents violate morality for having you? If so, should we kill ourselves to right the wrongs of the world?
DeleteTechnically, yes. I was a mistake thrust onto the planet. Life is the only medium where happiness is available. Even though pain comes hand in hand with it, our brains reason, instinctively, to do what will make us happiest. To survive and have babies, in example. Honestly, everyone is selfish in every act and every utterance. Even so, my personal bias is pretty agreeable, subjectively. Why else wouldn't you've brought up a specific point by now? AND there's one truly objective reason not to have kids of your own. You agreed to that.
DeleteJango, your personal bias means nothing to me. I am not the original person in this thread who commented on your post. I can agree that you only gave one "objective" reason, but I don't agree that it was a good reason. That much is clear in my previous comment. You need to do better to come up with a good reason. Why is this particular selfishness of having kids any worse than allowing yourself to stay alive?
DeleteLet me be clear so that you can be clear. Your one argument, amid the bunch of biased fluff above, is weak, at best. Come up with something better and be clear about it.
In principle, there's not much difference. In application, huge. One: we won't be on the planet longer than a new born will be so our lives end first. Two: going about killing ourselves (and everyone around if you want to have a real nice objective application) brings up A LOT more ethical questions and dilemmas when you can simply avoid hurting anyone else and yourself by not adding to the misery of the planet and only apply your efforts to your own subjective happiness and enjoy the full potential of the miracle of life (not necessarily human life by that term). And by miracle, I mean the unlikeliness of the origin of life.
DeleteNoting a practical distinction doesn't do much to support your argument. In fact, it could even hurt it. If you deny some couple the moral right to have a kid, that might do a great bit of harm to those people. Many people desperately long for the love of having their own kid, and to take that away could itself be considered a moral wrong. Don't bring up adoption to weaken my point because adoption is not having one's own kid.
DeleteGive me a good reason to support your actual argument.
Going a utilitarian route, I'm more interested in the greater good for EVERYONE, all things considered. It's selfish to have your own kid. An ethical principle doesn't take that ability away. It just means they're not concerned about anyone but themselves. ON TOP OF THAT, they're essentially focusing their own resources on one child having excess privileges opposed to helping 10 children have adequate resources. Adding another child into the world takes away resources that could be provided for another. Having children (adopted or not) will make the parents spoil them relative to a starving child in Africa, so if you want to get into happiness factors, consider a dying Ethiopian village which can be saved by the same medical expenses of birthing a child. Consider putting in the same portion of your time and and paycheck into a community as you would for your own children and then the 3rd world areas can be brought to different standards. Not to mention the actual damage each additional person does to the environment, effectively destroying resources for the global community as well.
DeleteSo now the OP actually had some real moral intention while writing this piece? I find that hard to believe. In fact, I think everything Jango has said thus far in defense of the OP (who is probably also Jango) is nothing but an argument manifested in retrospect for the purpose of supporting the crumbling original post.
DeleteJust give it up man. The entire second point of the original post is complete nonsense. It is as though you think everyone is an idiot (except maybe yourself, even though you added an unnecessary apostrophe in the word "thinks") and thus, everyone who reproduces is going to spawn idiot children. But you don't even say that argument explicitly. You just go on an tangent that is totally irrelevant to the original point. That's just one reason why this was a poorly written blog post, and I don't feel like giving anymore reasons at the moment.
Oh christ, now you're getting desperate! You'd love for me to give up. When all you have left is criticizing my attention to typing details on an internet blog that nobody knows/cares about! It's not that the objective facts require a moral justification, it's that they're completely supported by utilitarian morals.
DeleteThe second argument can be considered as follows: Most people are stupid, stupid people are a nuisance (bad for subjective happiness), stupid people hurt/hinder the planet's environment AND/OR hurt/hinder the intellectual evolution of humankind (bad for the objective state of the world). -That part is usually up to interpretation expecting the reader to use his/her experiences of stupidity to create concepts/justifications of their own.
Shall we continue on the substance of the article or did I miss a punctuation there?
For the sake of clarity, I, as anon 9:26, did not write the comment at 10:42.
DeleteOk Jango. You're sure taking a lot of time defending a post when most of it consists of your "attention to typing details on an internet blog that nobody knows/cares about". If you really feel that way about this blog and what you wrote on it, then why are you even bothering to defend your post so much? If you think your ideas matter enough to defend them so diligently on this thread of comments, maybe you should have articulated them better in the first place by taking the time to write a decent blog post.
DeleteAnd I've seen some bullshit arguments before but this is really shitty bullshit. It makes me cringe to even call that an "argument"; it's just (weak) proposition after proposition. There's not even a conclusion! You better go take a course on logic, because given the level at which you seem to be operating, I don't think you could reason your way out of a cardboard box. It's like you just write whatever thoughts pop into your head, even though they have no logical flow. God, what horseshit. If I could expect anything other than horseshit from you at this point, I'd totally lead you to continue "on the substance" (or more realistically, the lack thereof) of the article. But I don't want to read anymore horseshit. And to clarify - I am the author of 10:42. You can call me Peaches.
So it seems, peaches, you're vehemently upset about the fact that the argument IS NOT logically flawed and that I've taken an interest in making you look like a fool to prove you have nothing to criticize.
DeleteIt's a presentation of a certain viewpoint(s) to illustrate a discerning issue I've noticed. It IS, in fact, proposition after proposition, GOOD FOR YOU! But if any of them were weak, flawed, or illogical then you would have pointed out something in particular by now. Since arguing against something logical would, most likely, be illogical- you've avoided talking about any more the "substance" or any part of the post. At this point, you're pathetically running a smear campaign simply because you think I'm just a mean sonovabitch.
Perhaps you should take a debate class and learn how to argue instead of dribbling "horse shit" from your mouth all day. ;)
Wow you just make yourself sound crazier every time you comment. For one, I'm not "vehemently upset" about anything. Two, if I were, it certainly wouldn't be about the fact that your argument is "NOT logically flawed" because IT IS logically flawed. I can't even fucking tell whether or not you even know what the hell you're saying now, much less what the fuck I'm saying. This is a HORSESHIT presentation of whatever views you think are truly out there and logical. And just to clarify, if there is NO CONCLUSION, there is NO ARGUMENT. So to call that little chain of bullshit propositions an argument that is somehow logical, is just ABSURD. You REALLY need to take some philosophy and get your head straight so you can actually argue effectively for a viewpoint some day. Otherwise, no one is going to listen to you even if you do have something important to argue for.
Delete_Peaches_
The conclusion is: do not have children.
DeleteYou're clearly upset otherwise you wouldn't resort to foul language. In fact, angry language is your centerpiece along with declarations concerning how absurd the piece is without really saying anything about the work itself. You are a displeasure to converse with as you have no justification nor explanation for any of your assertions.
The constructive criticism here would be to rewrite this at college-level writing and respectability. You could make your point better and more eloquent if you weren't trying so hard to be whatever you were trying to be.
ReplyDeleteGrow up bandit.
ReplyDeleteJango
I'd agree. Sounds like a tool. But, if he's not lying then he's a bro-tastic tool.
DeleteThis person is an idiot, everyone has the right to have their own kids, I want my own and that makes me selfish? Why should I have to adopt just because someone else has a kid and then doesn't want it. If you want to talk about being selfish we should also discuss that it is selfish to have sex, get pregnant, keep the baby to full term and then give it up for adoption. I know it's sad to say this but it's better to have an abortion than to be selfish and have the baby, but abortion should not be used all the time just because you are lazy and don't take the necessary precautions to protect yourself! So yes I will be selfish and have my own kids someday!
ReplyDeleteWhat you said is completely true. Being selfish though, still makes you a selfish, inconsiderate d-bag; as were the people who made the child- which you are apparently doing..
DeleteJango, almost everything you've said is logically flawed. You are dying to protect your original post at all costs when it was poorly thought out in the first place. When you are proven wrong, learn to shut your mouth. No one wants to hear you babble about bull shit that is WRONG.
DeleteI do declare that this comment section has become a debacle. It has become more accusatory than a focus on clear arguments.
ReplyDeleteWe would like to have a focus on clear arguments, but some people are incompetent when it comes to arguing. Can you not tell?
DeletePoint out an argument- and I will gladly address it.
Delete"You suck! This is B.S." is not an argument- just to clarify. ;)
I know.
DeleteHere - one of your arguments was:
a) "Most people are stupid"
b) "stupid people are a nuisance (bad for subjective happiness)"
c) "stupid people hurt/hinder the planet's environment AND/OR hurt/hinder the intellectual evolution of humankind (bad for the objective state of the world"
d) [conclusion] "do not have children"
For one, a, b, and c are very weak propositions coated thickly with personal bias and minimal objectivity. With that said, even if I accept propositions a, b, and c, how in the world do they warrant the conclusion d? You've got a lot of filling in to do. Is it that stupid people are bound to produce stupid children due to genetics or just raising them in the first place? If either of those assumptions is the case, then you've got even MORE explaining to do. Furthermore, I'd imagine if you had any experience in proper argumentation, you would know that any conclusion that involves a "should" or "ought" is going to be extremely difficult to prove and will require much more substance than what you have provided so far.
So come on. This entire post is a joke. Just say it's a joke. And just deal with the fact that you have a critic here who just doesn't think it's funny or clever or really worth anything because it's a bad piece riddled with simple minded whimsical nonsense. How can you defend it as anything other than a piece of dull, underdeveloped comedy?
_Peaches_
Each thing in this post is precise and encourages me to personal courageous thoughts like as perfect writing is born in development
ReplyDeleteWell, I couldn't agree with the dude more. All my sisters have kids, and only one is truly happy with them. For the rest its just a nightmare. I live in a country in africa that is being burdened with millions of HIV orphans. Having kids is quite possibly the most selfish thing anyone can do this day and age. I will never have those bloody things, for myself not, for the world not, for themselves not. This world doesn't inspire me to put even more people on this planet, I don't feel special enough that I feel I can make a difference by wasting my adult life feeding these very selfish little people, when I can make a difference helping actual adults that can feed themselves. I don't know whether its the zeitgeist, or that people have lying to us all along, but having a family is not fun and games, especially if you're not up for it. And people that enjoy it, fine, but keep it to yourself and don't pressure people into joining your ranks. Some of them see the sacrifice as a virtue... to me it sounds absurd, especially with all the messed up marriages and problem families going on around us.
ReplyDelete