Friday, December 30, 2011

She's such a slut (by anon)

A man sees a man and woman walking intimately down the street. He says with a disgusted look, "That's the third guy I've seen that girl with in the past month. What a sleaze." Ironically, the same man who speaks these words of contempt for the multi-partnered woman, has had at least 3 different partners in the past few weeks himself, yet he thinks nothing of it.

Let's get one thing straight - this has sexual inequality written all over it. The man who has multiple sexual partners in a short amount of time is significantly more moral, praise worthy, and just than a woman who is believed to do the same. The irony HERE is that (based on what I’ve heard), in many cases, the woman has emotional interest, while the man does not (i.e., she wants a relationship, he wants sex). The ironic part - emotional interest is a cause more worthy of the act of sex (IMHO), and thus, it is counter-intuitive that the man is practically congratulated while the woman is condemned, even though she has not acted purely out of the desire for physical pleasure, but rather out of some kind of loving feeling as well.


Now I know this kind of thing might not profusely occur between men and women, but it does happen. And for any woman, one man is enough to harm her psychologically this way, and there’s always men who will collectively high five the guy who scores the most and outcast the woman who "scores" just as much. The truth is, men “get some”, while women lose some. Sexual privilege only goes one way, and it's no wonder there are inequalities between men and women. We see the effects of this problem in the media (commercials, magazine ads, etc.), as women are told that they must be sexually attractive, and are only valuable in so far as they are considered sexual objects. It's because we have this messed up way of viewing sex – that men get it, and women provide it. This is why, for example, we don’t see men portrayed sexually as much in ads – sex was never meant to be “for” women, thus showing men as sexual objects for women, is rather unthinkable in a male dominated society (luckily, we seemed to have progressed a little in this aspect).


So although a woman is a free and single individual who chooses to behave similarly to a man, she is more likely to become the outcast and a devalued person, and she’s more likely to acquire a bad reputation, or be considered immoral and un-datable. Furthermore, she may find it difficult to have meaningful relationships, retain confidence, and be comfortable with who she is. So while she loses respect, gets thought of as a "slut" or whatever, and is mocked and jeered at by her fellow peers, a man who interacts with his counterpart in a similar fashion as she, gets away unscathed (and is even praised) for what he does.


Of course, I'm generalizing here, and I know there are situations in which people are open, accepting, and non-judgmental, and I know there are situations in which people condemn men just as much as women for "promiscuity" or whatever, but the fact still stands – men and women, in general, experience different social consequences for the same behavior, and the reason is sexual inequality. It’s about time we get rid these social consequences for everyone, or at least impose them on everyone, whichever one we can work out the easiest (I’d assume the former - OR, I suppose we could all just choose to ignore society and the psychological harm it inflicts on people. Yeah that might work better.).

28 comments:

  1. oh no, not this argument again.... it's feminist philosophy over again

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  2. 1:41, I know, feminism gets so old in a sexist society. It's amazing that any sexist eyes would dare to read this feminist slobber. Send them back to the kitchen! Right?

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  3. women ridicule other women for promiscuity also

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  4. “If a key opens a lot of locks, then it’s the master key. If a lock is opened by a lot of keys, then it’s a shitty lock.”

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  5. Cool story bro...we already know this...

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  6. if you already know it, then why are you commenting on it? strange.


    "women ridicule other women for promiscuity also"

    yes, and that is also bad. cool!

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  7. Wow well I guess no one cares. And yes I know 2:57, but that just goes to show how bad the problem is that even women have trouble showing solidarity as women who all face the same problem.
    And 3:09, your comment is irrelevant because for one, men are not "keys" and women are not "locks". We are all the same in that we can all be equally sexual beings, and sex can be seen the same way for both men and women. It's not like both parties REALLY have different sexual roles. We can all enjoy it the same way, whether we are men or women or whatever.
    And 3:28, go home. You are a useless commenter, probably a guy, and have no fucking clue what it is like to be a woman who has to deal with shit like this. Now why don't you go try to get laid or something, bro.

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  8. Let me settle this once and for all for all the readers.
    It is absolutely a cool accomplishment for a dude to be with a lot of girls and be a stud, while his female counterpart is looked down upon as a slut.
    Yes, this (as a whole) is sexist. BUT it is 100% a result of society.
    Why, then, is it different for genders?
    It's EASY to be a slut. It's HARD to be a stud. I know I've seen a lot of ugly sluts in my life so far. It's Easy to be a slut- period. Guys are easy to seduce and have a large capacity for a sex drive. That's biological.
    Sluts can be bitches, tricks, and just plain ugly, but they can find multiple drunk guys or guys in general to take them home EVERY NIGHT IF they wanted it.
    For a guy to get with multiple women, he's gotta have charisma, wit, charm, and good looks as well as time management. It's tough enough for the average man to pick up one woman at the bar- I'd be guessing high if we were successful 20% of the time. So to have the skill to be successful with multiple women DOES deserve commendation.
    So what keeps letting society work this way?
    Standards. Women tend to have standards and only want the best looking dude. I's not often women fail with one guy and say, "Well, I guess I'll take that not-so-attractive guy home instead." Guys do this A LOT. They settle and have less standards for the most part. Women go out to dance, men go out to pick up some girls.
    What does this mean?
    It means it's okay for guys to be sluts and not okay for girls to be sluts. But guys are pigs and women are princesses for the most part.
    This is our world. This is our society. This is our life. Enjoy!

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  9. just because there's a reason for it (not saying that your explanation is even remotely indisputable) doesn't justify defeatist "this is our life" attitudes like yours

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  10. It is not hard to be a stud dude. Look around you, there are hot women everywhere. We are college students. This is booty heaven. I am an average looking dude, slightly overweight and I have banged 12 this year. I know my batting average will fall off once I graduate and lose my captive audience, so next year I am shooting for 25. Wish me Luck my fellow sluts. Ladies, I am coming for u. I am the real nice dude in the class who is always willing to help you with your homework.

    The booty bandit

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  11. “They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself” - Andy Warhol

    I believe that if you don't like something change it or yourself. You want equality so you don't want to change yourself, fine. So change how things work. Take action, change the soical beauty norms and what they mean.

    Who cares what two adults choose to do with each other? How often do people come up to your face and call you a slut, whore,etc? Live your life the way you want to live it. If people call you such things for having mutiple partners then either stop having mutiple partners or don't give a shit about what they say. I know the point of this is to point out how men are treated differently for the same behavior and my response is what I have said. Change the circumstances or minds of those who have made those comments or change your own lifestyle.

    Either way sitting around won't change a thing.

    Prof. Chaos

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  12. Just stay away from my girl, Mr. Booty Bandit, or you will receive a knuckle sandwich. You better wrap it up too or you will bel Mr. HIV or Mr. Baby Daddy.

    I got my eye on you bandit

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  13. I have always hated "if you're going to complain, do something about it" responses to things, for several reasons

    1) how do you know they're *not* doing something about it?

    2) complaining *is* doing something about it. I read complaints all the time, and unlike a lot of my peers, I actually change my behavior based on complaints on a regular basis. So even though it's just annoying to some people, it's clear to me that complaining is generally a really constructive thing.

    3) it's just generally unnecessarily dismissive, and makes people more likely to also respond in a dismissive way.

    probably other reasons too!

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  14. In response to Jango, regarding the idea that it's easy to be a "slut" and hard to be a "stud":
    Your thinking is sophomoric at best. I think I heard exactly what you said on HBO by some stand up comedian.
    So what if it's easier for women to be sluts than it is for guys? That is besides the point. All that shows me is that men give it up more readily, which makes them the real sluts, and not women.
    So it seems that men are way bigger sluts than women. They will take just about anyone home. Find a woman who goes around pursuing men for sex the way men pursue women for sex and it's a total crime. So women have it better if they're looking for man-sluts, because there's SO many of those. Maybe men are just jealous of the fact that they have to try a lot harder than women do if they want to have sex with anyone attractive. So they shame the woman because they say "oh it's so EASY for YOU, but not for US, we WORK HARD to get attractive sex partners, and YOU DON'T". Well, that's certainly not the woman's fault. It's the guys' fault for wanting it so much they'll go to all kinds of lengths to get some girl home with them, no matter what she looks like. It's the guys' fault for relentlessly trying to get with woman after woman. But damn, if there's ever a woman going around looking to hook up, watch out.. She's acting too much like a man I guess in that she desires sex so much she'll hit on 5 guys in one night, just to take home one, kind of like what some men do every night.
    So my question is, so what if you think it's "easier" for women to be sluts? How does that justify the fact that it's OK for men and not OK for women?

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  15. Don't you people think that both Jango and Anon 1:09 are generalizing things here? There are both women and men who aren't sluts at all. Why do we care so much about what consenting adults do? Regardless of sex who cares who they sleep with?

    How about we take our boxing gloves home on this one?

    Prof. Chaos

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  16. Prof Chaos -
    Yes, we are generalizing. And no, we should not care what consenting adults do. However, some people DO care and they care so much to publicly ridicule, disrespect, outcast, make fun of, and devalue those who are perceived as sluts...which is a problem. And the other problem is that it's almost always women who get that treatment (from both women and men), and rarely do men get it, and they think nothing of it when they give it. And it's not fair, because we pretty much all like to have sex, and whether we choose to have it with multiple people, or just one person, or no one, or whatever, for whatever various reasons we have for doing it, it's not anyone's business, and people don't deserve to be defined objectively in the public eye in such a negative way for their sexual habits. It is just cruel and it hurts women in particular - and women can choose to ignore it and tell those people who look down on them to fuck off, but that can't change the fact that it gets to some (or a lot) of women, and it really affects their lives, because believe it or not, negative treatments, physical or not, get internalized, and people's own identities become constructed discursively by society, and it really is difficult for people to be happy with who they are when society devalues them and expresses to them how awful of a person they are through various localized social interactions, which are all part of a bigger picture in which unnecessary and harmful cognitive norms come into play regarding women's sexuality.

    So as in my original post, we either lift ALL of the social consequences - meaning, we ALL mind our own business and stop judging and making people feel worthless, or we give everyone the same treatment for the same behavior. Obviously I don't think we can do the latter because no one would agree, so hopefully we can work on the former, and in the mean time, hopefully everyone who has received negative social consequences for something that shouldn't be anyone's business will be able to rise above it and have confidence in themselves and be happy with who they are.

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  17. I agree with you 3:42. I never really thought of it that way. I believe I think more about how my choice of words effect people in the future.

    I have a motto and it's a simple one. " Be Cool" We should indeed mind our business and stop judging people in this regard. What consenting adults do within the confines of the law is their own business.

    Prof. Chaos

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  18. @ anon 1:09
    You're calling my reasoning "sophomoric" yet you repeated my point nearly verbaetum. It's okay because this is how our society is designed. To be even more controversial- I think it's a very stable, consistent, and functional way for society to work. Once again, I'll repeat myself even though [anon 1:09] has already repeated them. Men have to try to get laid/get a partner, they have to try with a lot of women to be successful so because they have this drive men are pigs. Women can take advantage of the man's genetically written sluttiness because it is easy, it's not often when that occurs in relation to every girl.
    This difference in amount of sexual interest runs pretty well for society as I see it. It keeps the single life a challenge to change so being selective of a partner is essential.
    Mr. Booty Bandit does not believe selectivity to be a big component it seems. I am a man, and a pretty damn charming one at that- 2 things to say to booty bandit: In a high year I'll have slept with 7 women. 1.) If you get to 12 or 25 in a year I'm sure you've jumped on a few grenades just to get laid (grenades are termed for unattractive partners). And 2.) It's not how many women you should be bragging about sleeping with, it's how often women come back to have sex with you again.. and again... and again. So Booty Bandit, you're kind of a pig- there's no way around it, I probly am too! In fact I know I am. Statistics show that women have 10-15 partners in their lives and men have 15-20 on average. I'm 20 years old and had 20 partners already- of course I'm a pig. Men are born that way. Because I don't believe the teapot should call the kettle black, I don't think anyone is a slut unless there is lying involved. I may have an altered definition for slut but I believe it matters HOW you get laid however-so-often. If you're a guy that uses rufees then you're a slut, a pig, and probly deserves to die. If you are a woman that has slept with 20 guys at the age of 20 in your life, cuz she believes she's looking for love, then I see that as a story of a so-far-unsuccessful angel. It's all about intentions and standards which run our sexual society and it runs fine- the best we can hope for it to run. Everyone here has said they want something to change. I see no reason for it to. And even if I wanted to, we couldn't. There's a saying: Before you try to change someone else, remember how hard it is to change yourself. Now imagine how hard it is to change a society.

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  19. Don't judge someone's choices if you don't know their reasons.

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  20. So Jango, is it OK for a woman to pursue men for sex the same way a man might pursue women?
    Or must it be the case that the woman who has 20 partners is only an "angel" IF she was honestly looking for love each time?

    You know, women like sex too. But we can't get away with having it the way men can. And that's the point. It matters not how YOU think society is designed and *should* continue to function. It matters how people's lives are affected by society's corrupt thinking when it comes to women's sexuality. Society is full of misconceptions, damaging cognitive norms, and preconceived notions of how men and women should behave sexually, and these lead to the negative treatments women receive that men are mostly immune to.

    You say, "Don't judge someone's choices if you don't know their reasons". Say you knew the reasons why a woman had 20 partners by the age of 20, and she only really was emotionally interested in five or six of them, and the rest were either random hookups or guys she may have temporarily used for sex. Would you judge then? I'm guessing yes. And what's more, I think, "Don't judge someone's choices", is good enough, REGARDLESS of what you know of the reasons for their choices when it comes to sex. Seriously, who gives a fuck what choices someone makes sexually? That's PRIVATE. If someone chooses to leave a pile of garbage in the commons cafeteria, then yeah, I think I'll judge that choice. But if someone chooses to take home random strangers to fuck every other night, then so what??? Let them be who they are. Let them decide for themselves if they're living a fulfilling and satisfying life. Maybe they are and they don't mind it, and they're happy with who they are, and they don't need society to tell them "you're a good person" to still feel like a decent human being.

    Your definition of slut is unclear to me. I think a lot of people will call someone a slut regardless of whether they think the person lies to have sex - but if that's what you consider a slut, then I think men are sluts WAY more often than women, because how often do men lie to women to have sex with them? A lot. And how often do women lie to men to have sex with them? I'm guessing not so much. And I hope you aren't thinking, "YES! Men ARE bigger sluts than women! And society says it's OK! So let's let it be OK!".

    You admit to being a pig. And see how cool that is? You say, "of course I'm a pig". And you're charming apparently. Great to know! Hopefully I avoid you and others like you.

    I think you're missing the point. You talk about "intentions" and "standards" and I'm really talking about people's lives being affected negatively due to the way we think about women and sex. Society will run just fine even if people stopped placing judgments on others based on fucked up cognitive norms and misconceptions when it comes to sexuality in general. You think you know something about it, but you have no idea. It hopefully isn't too hard for you to change yourself and the way you think about ONE thing (you need to gain perspective to do this, and unfortunately, you not being a woman probably makes that somewhat difficult). And yeah changing a whole society is not something done over night. Gradually, however, we can teach younger generations better ways of thinking when it comes to our sexual behavior so that people don't have to keep getting hurt emotionally/psychologically (and even physically) for no reason.

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  21. Jango, I am off to a good start for 2012. I knocked off 2 so far, one at a New Year's Party. Drunk girls count too. The second was my sister's best friend. Both of these hotties are 10's. I have two dates lined up so the next time we speak I may be at number 4. I do not count repeats. Girls like me. I have a 4 point grade average. I also wait around for guys to break up with their girls, then I move in to comfort them. They do not know that I am the bandit until it is too late. So watch it fellows, treat your girl nice or I will, at least for one night.

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  22. You guys think this is a game, don't you? "I got off to a good start". GROW THE F*** UP. True contentment comes with finding one good partner and sticking with him/her. Love doesn't come easy, but you'll know it when you see it. I'm in love now, actually. I know it. So does she. That's enough. The rest will see soon enough.

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  23. LoL, if love is so gattdam great, why does 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce, many others cheat. I have chopped a few wifeys and soccer moms. Well I was sitting in Sarbucks last night and a hottie asked me for the time. Well we ended up banging. This hottie was immortalized as victim number 3. I am ahead of my 2011 pace.

    Booty Bandit

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  24. I'm with Booty Bandit. I think love is a joke. And I've made out damn good this past year and I'm proud of it. Had two in one night come to think of it. I've managed to get my way into bedrooms and cars for a nice screw so many times, with just about every one I've gone for (and I'm pretty picky). I've also passed up plenty of offers. I did have a few clingers, and even tried working out a relationship with one of them, but that shit got old and I called it quits (although the sex was quite good).
    So I've decided it's best to just rack up the points here, like Booty Bandit. It's a lot more fun that way, and as long as you get in with one, and keep in contact with the friends, you're always set. And, if worst comes to worst, God knows it's easy as hell to go downtown and score just about any night of the week.
    So yeah... I'm just glad guys like me. Otherwise who knows what I'd have to settle for.

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  25. Booty Bandit must love anal sex cause he sounds like a big asshole. Get herpes.

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  26. @12:39
    The example of a woman looking for love and failing is an example of the fact that we cannot know someone's intentions and that we shouldn't try to. You seemed to misunderstand the point and instead run with it off the cliff to something else. Never did I say there are bad intentions minus my comment about using rufees(WHICH, BY THE WAY @BOOTYBANDIT & SUPPORTERS) Drunk girls count as being rufeed. They are intoxicated (although by their own will) it is wrong to sleep with them. If a crack whore, let's say she's hot, asks you for crack in exchange for a blowjob, I assume you'll accept it? She's in a detrimental state of mind dude to a mind altering substance affecting her actions. If someone is not in the right state of mind to consent to sexual activity, THEN IT IS NOT CONSENT. So if you fuck drunk girls for a living: I hate you, please die.

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  27. back to @12:39. Because we don't understand full intentions and it's a misconception to say that our own personal ethics and morals are right- right we shouldn't judge. I used my personal moral reasoning to explain why booty bandit is a fucktard in my opinion- but that's just it. it's my opinion that he should castrate himself with a rusty spoon. The definition of a slut is contrued differently with different people. Opinions can be asserted without proof and they can be dismissed without proof. As for that's the way society is and how it works fine: it does! Sluts, whatever you define them as, have their place in society. So do skanks, whores, hoes, studs, pigs, cheats, liars, murders, soldiers, doctors, whatever- our world is fucked up in A LOT of ways and one by one we can change it. I say we cannot because we will not live to experience it. We will never know utopia but we can leave our footprint walking us towards it, yeah. People are affected by society-DUH- it's EXACTLY what we CANNOT escape from and yeah it's wrong, refer to my last statement though-we won't know change. Perhaps a little. Perhaps. But most people are retarded and detrimental to society- see booty bandit. The number of sex partners a person has SHOULDN'T mean a thing to others, but we are a product of society and there is no escape and society dubbs it oddly in my irregular point of view. Society, we have to say is right because it is what made us think the way we do today and makes us think the way I do. PEOPLE are wrong still for calling women sluts and men studs. That's my opinion. We can't say society IS people because a society implies a unified perspective, which everyone is different. People change within society. Society is the medium which the enlightenment of individuals is a possible occurance. We can't say THIS is what SOCIETY thinks, no, it's what MOST PEOPLE think. Hey, most people are stupid. People have biological needs and it's a damn good thing we act on them I say. Sex is the most importand thing for ANY living organism after food, water, n shelter. Sometimes sex is more important. We are one of the few animals that prefer to mate for life. Most animals reproduce as much as possible with as many as possible. Aren't our differences in reasoning that sex gets better and more mentally stimulating as you and one person continue to bond and connect as the relationship grows on. If shit don't work. Then you you find someone who bonds with you better. What makes us different from ANY other organism is that reproduction IS NOT the most important thing to us. It's finding happiness. I'm in a new relationship, I'm stupid for trusting my intuition and taking a leap to committment but I can already say that I love this girl and everything every day gets better just from thinking about her. I haven't had the conversation about how many people we've slept with because I don't care! I know I'm the slut in comparison just by what my intuition tells me about her but i'm just not concerned. She may think I'm a slut when that knowledge is revealed to her when the question comes up and she may think bad about that. She might be concerned for a moment but if we stay together, then it never mattered. If she even breaks up with me because of it, then I will continue to look for someone else in my young life who connects with me on a deep intellectual level. So if you think society affects you, you're wrong. People do.

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